Tuesday, May 12, 2009
..i stopped praying..
I stopped praying because I stopped trusting that God is good . I was afraid of what He would say . and who wants to strike up a conversation with someone who scares you . one sided monologs..prayer postcards at best . but here's the thing . scary stuff can happen whether or not I'm walking with Him . I can be real & open . I'm not protecting myself from the unknown by hiding . He see's it all anyway . even my fears..and they are many . God wants me to want things & ask for them . You see my problem was that I believed in the power of my prayers too much . The thought that I could ask Him for the wrong thing and that He'd give it to me because I asked for it was crippling to my spiritual life . No wonder I had so much fear . I truly believed God gave me all the power . I don't belong with that much power . Truth is..He'll say no if it's not what He has for me . Unless I continually ask for something I know He doesn't want for me & I want it anyway . God is good . I need to start fearing the thought of not walking closely enough or being open enough with Him . Not fearing being close or open with Him . How did I get that so confused . It's a conversation . He really does speak with us
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2 comments:
I love this. I meant to tell you back when you wrote it, but I'm lazy and undisciplined sometimes as a commenter.
I'm making up for it now.
[Hope late really is better than never.]
just stumbled upon your blog but read this and was reminded that.."In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." -it's out of romans 8. it makes me so glad that even if what i pray for is so shaped by my human desires, the Spirit intercedes for me "in accordance with God's will." hallaluyah. :) and...we're all in this together.
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